Relationships

How to Forgive someone and move on!

Yesterday I posted this question in my WhatsApp group;
“Is it okay to keep in contact with an ex when you are in a new relationship?” 

Well, I must say that one question caused a firestorm of dialogue and debates both for and against it. I learnt and realized a lot of things in different people’s notions. Majority of them said they can’t. And in their contentions I realized that they still had a feeling of rancor towards their exes.
If one still loathes their exe(s) and they hold intense pain over them, believe me or not they are not yet healed. They live in pretense when they say that they are happy without them. They even lie and they are unfair to their new partners when they say they love them. Because the truth is they are still hurting inside and their hearts are bleeding internally every day.
Many people find it very hard to forgive their exes. They forgive them with their mouth but they don’t mean it at heart. What they forget is that they are also an ex to someone out there. Meaning they have also ever hurt someone in one way or the other. 
I know exes hurt us so badly, they disappoint us, they cheat on us, they abuse us emotionally, physically and mentally and they do many other bad things to us. But they have ever been our sweethearts at some point in life. Meaning, we have to forgive them whether they apologized or not in order to have a peaceful mind. There is nothing so big in this world that is not forgivable. If God managed to forgive us and He died for our big and countless sins, then how about us?
We should learn to forgive our exes, we let our emotions loose and we move on. And if they still want our friendship when we are already in a new relationship it’s also okay if they are ready to respect it and we must set clear and open boundaries. 
Now I know that sometimes brings insecurity most especially to the new partner you are with. But remember a relationship is all about trust and understanding each other. The absence of any of the two a relationship is bound to fail whether because of an ex, certain problems or other insecurities.
Therefore, let’s not hold grudges or harbor rage in our small and fragile hearts over our exes because this world is round and you never know where you will be tomorrow. That ex you loathe so much might be of help to you and your family in the future. 
Let’s not carry the baggage from our past into our new relationships. Let’s not allow the past affect our future. Let’s not hurt new innocent souls because of the damages and scars left by behind our exes. Let’s not pretend that we are over them yet we are still bleeding inside. Let’s forgive them to heal and to live a happy life.

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