Lady Zamar advises women to stay far from trashy, broken men. Despite the constant hostility she faces on social media, singer-songwriter Lady Zamar, actual name Yamikani Janet Banda, is quite vocal. She has resisted giving in. She recently offered her opinion on the dating scene and encouraged women to set higher expectations for the men they date.

“Men date according to how they see themselves,” she says. “This is why they hardly ever settle for just any woman who loves them, no matter how sexy or beautiful she is. However, women tend to settle and date lower than they see themselves, usually deciding to get married to men who love them and treat them well, even though that man is below their standards in many important and significant ways,” she said.

Lady Zamar’s advice to women is to date and marry in the same way men do. “Keep your standards high and don’t listen when people, especially other men vying for a chance with you, tell you that you’ll never find someone like that because trust me
 you will and as easily as they do.”

Some men, according to her, prefer to keep women preoccupied so that they can be the only ones to gain from partnerships and be the only ones to experience goodness and fulfillment.

She advises that when a woman raises her standards, “she stops giving trashy, broken men a chance to her body.”

After accusing her ex-lover, Sjava, of raping her at the Porche-Villa Hotel and Conference Centre in Thohoyandou in 2017, Lady Zamar has had to spend a lot of time practicing self-love. She claimed the sex she had with Sjava was not consenting in a social media exposé in 2018. The Director of Public Prosecutions later withdrew the case after it had been forwarded to the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA). The singer claims in an interview with ZiMoja that she has since faced online criticism, teasing, and bullying.

“I block negativity. My mind has been trained to see certain cues from afar. I have people who work on my social media and they know when to block negativity. I hardly see it anymore,” she says. Lady Zamar says she is at a self-accepting phase of her life. “There is a lot of accepting I’ve had to do. A lot of introspection,” she says, adding, “I used to think that other people’s actions reflected who I was. I used to believe that whenever someone treated me badly, it must have been something I have done. But I have learned that people’s actions are independent of me. They choose how they treat you and all you have to do is live your best life,” she says.